Ruth Davidson hatches three dragons

author avatar by 7 years ago

Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson is tipped to march on Kings London after hatching three dragons from the fires of the election.

Davidson, who emerged from the wilderness with an enormous grin and backed by the flames of victory just as the rest of her party descended into civil war, is understood to be regarded as the new Queen in the North by those in the know.

Although menaced by the feared Blue-and-White Walkers, many believe they are a reduced force since people voted against eternal winter a few years ago.

The current ruler in Kings London, Queen Theresa, has retreated to the Palace and is rarely seen by the populace after forming an alliance with the Killjoys from the Iron Islands – and is understood to have taken to drinking heavily.

“I’m told there’s a golden-haired buffoon who thinks he can be King as well,” Ruth told us.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“If he tries anything, he’s getting thrown out of a window to the baying mob beneath.

“And High Sparrow Corbyn and his puritans are in for a shock, I’ll tell ye that.”

However, some reporters cast doubt on the truth of the entire story.

“There are some parts of this stuff which are obviously untrue”, we were told. “A defiant lady forged in the crucible of Glasraki politics?”

“I mean, I can believe in dragons, but the bit where she agreed to work with the Killjoys? That has to be made up.”