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Secret plans drawn up by the Labour leadership would see a terrorist IRA jihadi state established in your back garden in the event of a Labour win on Thursday.
The terrorist IRA jihadi state would be legally allowed to steal your tomatoes, wee in your homebrew and radicalise the cat and would receive a Government subsidy to do so.
Voters are extremely concerned by the revelations.
“I’m extremely concerned by these revelations,” said Simon Williams, a voter and complete fucking moron.
“I was starting to quite like Jeremy Corbyn and his sensible policies to improve the lot of most people at the expense of an incredibly wealthy few.
“But, if he wants to establish a terrorist IRA jihadi state in my back garden, then I’m going to have to reconsider my voting intentions for tomorrow.
“Apart from anything else, my back garden’s quite small, and I was thinking of putting some decking in.”
It is estimated that the establishment of a terrorist IRA jihadi state in everyone’s back garden would cost in the region of a squillion pounds and would be paid for by increasing income tax for hardworking families to a staggering 200% rate.
As such, it would probably be sensible if you just did as you were told and voted Tory.
