May happy to take on Europe, but still afraid of chat with Corbyn

author avatar by 6 years ago

Theresa May reckons she’ll be able to cope with the very toughest Brexit negotiation talks, but would rather not have an hour’s debate with Jeremy Corbyn.

In a strange dichotomy, the Prime Minister has reassured voters that she will be a brash and difficult woman with the EU, while glancing around furtively to make sure Corbyn wasn’t approaching with a microphone.

“It’s a little odd,” said political analyst Simon Williams.

“She’s willing to go head-to-head with some of the most difficult bastards in Europe, but can’t stomach an hour’s back-and-forth with a fairly amiable, elderly allotment gardener.

“I would say it’s weak and inconsistent, but that would be the opposite of strong and stable, which she definitely apparently is.”

A spokesperson for Jeremy Corbyn said, “Jeremy has been practising his debating skills while listening to the soundtrack from 8 Mile.

“We’re hoping he won’t get confused mid-debate and refer to the PM as a ‘nasty ho’, although that may well close the gap in the polls.”