The prime minister has accidentally reversed her bicycle over a journalist’s foot yesterday.
Theresa “Strong and Stable” May made the error as she was frantically winding back a new policy to kill the elderly.
“Silly twat,” sobbed pained journalist, Simon Williams.
“I mean I am milking it a bit, bicycles don’t weigh that much and it’s not like Theresa May is a heavyweight, in any sense of the word.
“Still bloody smarts though, I’ll be limping for a good ten minutes.
“What kind of moron makes policy changes while riding a bicycle anyway?”
Eye-witness Jay Cooper said, “She needs to really pay attention when back-pedalling.
“Not only did she run over that chap’s foot; her bicycle tyres went clean through a picnicking child’s school lunch and then traipsed the resultant mashed potato all over a copy of Article 50.
“Then she hit a fox, but I’m fairly sure that was deliberate.
“She finally stopped when she accidentally crashed through a hospital, causing untold damage which she promised to clear up but she didn’t leave a note or anything, she just ran away.
“Are you getting this yet? It’s bloody clever.”