Tuesday 23 May 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Theresa May backpedals over BBC cameraman’s foot

Post image for Theresa May backpedals over BBC cameraman’s foot

The prime minister has accidentally reversed her bicycle over a journalist’s foot yesterday.

Theresa “Strong and Stable” May made the error as she was frantically winding back a new policy to kill the elderly.

“Silly twat,” sobbed pained journalist, Simon Williams.

“I mean I am milking it a bit, bicycles don’t weigh that much and it’s not like Theresa May is a heavyweight, in any sense of the word.

“Still bloody smarts though, I’ll be limping for a good ten minutes.

“What kind of moron makes policy changes while riding a bicycle anyway?”

Eye-witness Jay Cooper said, “She needs to really pay attention when back-pedalling.

“Not only did she run over that chap’s foot; her bicycle tyres went clean through a picnicking child’s school lunch and then traipsed the resultant mashed potato all over a copy of Article 50.

“Then she hit a fox, but I’m fairly sure that was deliberate.

“She finally stopped when she accidentally crashed through a hospital, causing untold damage which she promised to clear up but she didn’t leave a note or anything, she just ran away.

“Are you getting this yet? It’s bloody clever.”

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