Theresa May in quarantine at Tory HQ after contact with real member of public

author avatar by 7 years ago

Theresa May is being held in isolation today after unfortunate contact with an angry human being on the campaign trail yesterday.

The exposure occurred during a walkabout in Abingdon in which the Prime Minister expected to be meeting ‘members of the public’ who had naturally been pre-checked and vetted before speaking to her, but was instead confronted by a genuinely angry voter who wouldn’t stop going on about cuts to her benefits.

Conservative party spokesman Simon Williamsby-Toffer addressed press this morning, telling reporters, “I can confirm that Theresa May did suffer some exposure to a member of the public yesterday.

“Despite this woman being clearly unhinged and verbally aggressive, the Prime Minister was able to escape relatively unharmed thanks to her strong and stable approach to running away from public confrontations.”

He went on, “As a precaution, we are keeping Mrs May in isolation until we can be sure that she hasn’t caught anything nasty or common from this member of the public, or ‘pleb’, as we like to call them.”

It is understood that Theresa May was left slightly shaken by the encounter, as she found herself facing questions that did not relate to her shoes or who puts the bins out at Number Ten.