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In a dramatic development, a day after the Labour manifesto was made public the Tory manifesto has also been leaked.
However in this case, rather than just portions of the manifesto being leaked, it has been leaked in its entirety.
In a bold vision of clarity, the Tory manifesto is just the words ‘Strong and stable’ written on the side of a big red bus.
“It is disappointing that the manifesto has been leaked early,” said Prime Minister Darth Theresa May earlier.
“As I understand it, the manifesto was parked on private property in South London. It started to rain and Boris volunteered to back it into a barn. Unfortunately, he accidentally got lost and ended up in Cornwall. Consequently, it found itself in the public domain.”
The Prime Minister remains confident that despite the manifesto being very light on actual policy plans, it will appeal to the public.
“Of course it will, the credulous slack-jawed cretins will do whatever I tell them to do, and if I tell them to vote for me then that’s what they’re going to do, the bovine morons.”
Mrs May then went on to repeat the phrase ‘strong and stable’ 94 times without taking a breath.
