“I am Tim!”, squeaks tiny, adorable Liberal Democrat leader

author avatar by 6 years ago

The delightful six-inch tall leader of the liberal democrats has made one of his adorable statements this morning.

Having clambered onto his podium, the teeny little rapscallion announced ‘I am Tim!’ several times to a room of reporters – who described his actions as just so precocious and loveable.

The words ‘I am Tim!’ are delivered with a wide range of inflections and must be interpreted by the listener – usually they mean whatever the voter wants to hear.

The Liberal Democrat leader then began a cute little dance to a selection of Fleetwood Mac hits whilst the grown ups got on with the real work in the background.

“He’s so cute”, one witness told us.

“It’s like he doesn’t know he’s less than a foot tall and there’s all this dangerous adult world around him that he doesn’t understand.

“He just says ‘I am Tim’ and gazes at you with these big brown eyes that are full of incomprehension but so keen to please.

“I’ve got to get a doll of him.”

When asked, a spokesman for the Liberal Democrats confirmed he was also their only member.

“He said welcome to the fricking Liberal Democrats”, he told us.

“Only he didn’t say ‘fricking’.

“He actually said ‘gosh-darned’.”