Coronation Street given restraining order after terrorising viewers

author avatar by 7 years ago

Coronation Street has been ordered to stay well away from the British people after subjecting them to years of hellish, abusive plotlines.

The soap, which began the relationship with viewers with lighthearted and often touching stories about the reality of life, is understood to have ‘changed’ in recent years and become obsessed with violence and domestic abuse.

Viewers described how they had become afraid of the soap, saying it had started showing a dark side and spent hours at a time focusing on dark and harrowing narratives to the exclusion of a healthy relationship.

“Corrie was lovely when we met,” said Simone, who applied for the injunction. “There was Bet Lynch and Curly Watts, lovely Norris Cole. We were so happy together.

“But then a serial killer showed up and since then it’s like it comes into my house two or three times a week and just scares me. There’s no love there or affection anymore. It’s just all dark.

“Recently it’s just never shut up about child abuse. It’s like some sort of unhealthy obsession.”

The soap opera has been told to stay at least 200 metres from any member of the public, but warned that it would be back in an even more shocking storyline before you know it.

“Once you’re with Corrie, you can never leave,” it warned us.