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A poll taken of foxes across the country has revealed that barely 30% will vote Labour in the upcoming election, despite Theresa May’s plans to have them systematically torn apart by packs of dogs.
The poll showed that whilst being systematically torn apart by packs of dogs was an issue for some foxes, they felt these concerns were outweighed by the need for competent, experienced leadership in these difficult times.
“Well, obviously I won’t be voting Labour,” said prominent fox Simon Williams.
“I must confess, I do like some of Jeremy Corbyn’s ideas, like his plan to not bring back a ‘sport’ that will see me and my family chased across the countryside before being savaged by a load of angry dogs, but the problem is that he’s just not credible as a leader.
“He’s got that beard, and then there was that Diane Abbot who muffed up her numbers on the radio. I mean, that’s loads worse than bringing back plans to have me hunted to my death, isn’t it?
“And he hates nuclear weapons. What a nob!”
Even being shown the controversial clip where Theresa May can quite clearly be heard saying ‘foxes are all sh*ts, I f**king hate them, I hope they all die, the little fox b*rstards’ wasn’t enough to put Simon Williams the fox off.
“No, that’s just strong and stable leadership.”
