Last person with power to investigate President Trump fired for completely unrelated reason

author avatar by 7 years ago

Donald Trump has fired the last person with the power to investigate him, for reasons that are completely unrelated to that fact.

James Comey, who was until recently the Director of the FBI and had just issued subpoenas to investigate collusion with Russian agencies inside the Trump administration, was relieved of his office because he was cruel to poor, persecuted Hillary Clinton some months ago.

Trump, whose respect and concern for his rival in the presidential race is well known, is understood to have taken months deliberating over the best way to deal with Comey before making his decision mere minutes after the subpoenas were signed.

Comey was also scheduled to testify to Congress on ‘worldwide threats’ tomorrow – an event which he will now be unable to attend much to the President’s manifest dismay.

The President has been clearly unconcerned by the ongoing investigation, and has never mentioned it or gone off on long, rambling and uncoordinated rants on Twitter about it.

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It was only after long and heartfelt conversations with the Russian embassy that Trump came to the difficult decision Comey should be removed – he is said to have wept tears almost certainly of grief as he made the choice.

Front runner for the role is said to be Infowars host Alex Jones, who will look upon the role as ‘performance art’.