Prince Philip retires to spend more time on racism

author avatar by 7 years ago

The Duke of Edinburgh is to retire from public duties so he can focus on his first love, racism.

Prince Philip, who turns 96 next month, has made the decision himself and the Queen is said to actively support him.

“The Prince has worked tirelessly for more than sixty years,” said a spokesperson for the Royal Family

“But his first love is, and has always been, racism, and he no longer feels that at his somewhat advanced age he can devote the time and energy to both his royal duties and his racism.

“As such, the Prince will retire from public duty and devote his time exclusively to being racist.”

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The Duke of Edinburgh is one of the world’s most prominent racists and has managed to offend peoples across the globe with references to ‘slitty-eyed’ Chinese people and insinuations that Indian people are incompetent.

Other racists are excited by the news.

“This is potentially very exciting,” said racist Simon Williams.

“The amount of racism that the Duke has managed whilst carrying out his royal duties has been staggering, so I’m really looking forward to seeing what he can come up with when he is devoted to racism full time.

“I’m particularly looking forward to some innovative racism against the eskimo people. There really isn’t enough racism against them.”

The Duke is expected to publish a short racist pamphlet by Christmas and if all goes according to plan, could publish an extensive racist book by next Autumn.

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