Stoke-on-Trent electorate granted restraining order against Paul Nuttall

author avatar by 7 years ago

The electorate of Stoke-on-Trent have been granted a temporary restraining order against Paul Nuttall amid fears that he’s going to stand as an MP there for the second time in 6 months.

The terms of the order prevent Nuttall from wearing a rosette, uttering meaningless political slogans and blaming everything on migrants within a 5-mile radius of the city.

Residents were prompted to take action after Nuttall promised to deliver on his longstanding threat to become a member of parliament.

“It was a nightmare last time,” said Simon Williams, a local man who requested the restraining order on the city’s behalf.

“At first, to be honest, we didn’t take him seriously. All that nonsense about Brexit, foreigners and health tourism; we assumed he was the Monster Racist Looney Party’s candidate”.

“But then the election leaflets and canvassing started. It was non-stop. It got so bad that every time I saw a Rover 75 I’d jump in the nearest hedgerow in case one of Paul’s campaign team was in it.

“The final straw came when I woke up one night and found Nuttall in my garden playing ‘We’ll Meet Again’ on a boombox he was holding above his head. I was terrified.

“I spoke to the police and they agreed to visit him, but when they got to his address, it was totally empty. It was almost like he’d never lived there.

Mr Williams insisted, however, that the restraining order was only precautionary and he was optimistic that the UKIP leader would respect the outcome of February’s by-election.

“It’s no coincidence that the candidate who won the by-election used the slogan ‘Well, at least I’m not Paul Nuttall’,” concluded Williams.