West Ham and Newcastle United raided by police after fraudulently claiming to be ‘football teams’

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Arrests have been made at West Ham and Newcastle United under the trades descriptions act after they claimed to be ‘football teams’.

The arrests were made in a dawn raid today after police uncovered evidence of an organised scam going back years, in which the ‘teams’ asked locals to part with their hard-earned money based on entirely false claims they had a chance of winning some silverware.

“The Hammers and the Magpies have been passing themselves off as professional football teams for years to gullible members of the public, and we believe a case can be made for fraudulent misrepresentation,” said Chief Inspector Simon Williams of the British Footballing Police.

“Perhaps millions of Geordies have been suckered into the ruse, in some cases giving their life savings for a season ticket which was of no actual value at all.

“And the evidence suggests that West Ham have never been a football team at all, but instead are several chancers from a branch of McDonalds and a pub Sunday team who got together and somehow persuaded the government to give them a stadium.

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“It breaks my heart to see ordinary people conned out of their hard-earned money like this. These people should be ashamed of themselves.”

When asked about Manchester United, Inspector Williams told us that they were the basis of an ongoing investigation but as none of their victims are based in the UK it made gathering evidence harder.