UKIP announce plans to broaden their racism

author avatar by 7 years ago

UKIP have announced that they intend to broaden their party-political racism to encompass whole new swathes of society.

This week’s UKIP leader Paul Nuttall, more widely known for winning the Golden Boot at the 2006 World Cup and inventing crisps, made the announcement yesterday.

“I don’t want UKIP to be known as that anti-Muslim party,” said Mr Nuttall to a packed crowd of three UKIP supporters, belying the assumption that UKIP’s popularity was waning.

“The truth is that there are a great many other races out there, and I think we should be focusing on developing pig-ignorant and irrational prejudices against those, as well as the Muslims.

“Eskimos, for instance. They all live in snow houses and eat whales. Do we really want Eskimos coming over here with their huskies and making your children eat a whale?

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“And the Incas? They sacrificed children to their sun-God. UKIP will never stop pressuring the Government of the day to ban the sacrifice of children to sun-God on England’s parks and commons.

“We will constantly fight against the Inca-isation of UK society.”

Mr Nuttall went on to list other ethnic groups about which he had concern including; the Chitralis, the Kalyu, the Samis, the Luilang, and the family on the corner of his road who have a weird foreign accent that he can’t quite put his finger on.

It is understood that despite UKIP being a clearly insane collection of misfits and bigots, there is a concern in the Tory party that their new platform of broad racism may attract the more traditional conservative voters. Therefore Theresa May is considering holding a referendum on Eskimo and Inca immigration to try and stifle any growth in UKIP’s popularity.

Because that’s always a good idea.

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