Nigel Farage quits failing to become an MP to focus on failing to get a knighthood

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Nigel Farage has announced he is giving up failing to become an MP so that he can devote his time to failing to get a knighthood.

Mr Farage, who has been tirelessly failing to become an MP for the last twenty-three years, said it was now time for him to not achieve personal recognition in something else.

“Nobody has dedicated more effort to not being an MP than I have,” he said.

“I considered combining my failure to be an MP with my failure to get a knighthood, but my recent failure to become an ambassador has led to me reassessing my workload.

“It’s time for someone else to step up to the plate and be roundly rejected by the electorate.”

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Current Ukip leader Paul Nuttall said that no-one deserves to fail at receiving a knighthood more than Nigel Farage.

“Nigel Farage has consistently failed while being lauded by the media he accuses of being against him.

“If I become half the failure he is then I’ll be happy.”