A missile designed to fly about eight feet before blowing up has been successfully tested by North Korea.
The missile, the DongSubstituteVII, was ‘totally intended’ to fall over and explode on the pad meaning the launch was 100% successful, a spokesman for the DPRK Army said.
“The Dong missiles are designed to engage and destroy targets up to five metres away, striking terror into the hearts of nearby imperialists,” we were told.
“By lining the coast of our country with these missiles ready to topple over and go boom at a moment’s notice, we shall make any invasion slightly trickier than it otherwise might be.
“The allocation of the entire productive surplus of our country to this project is a wise and rational investment.”
The North Korean people have engaged in huge, spontaneous celebrations marking the defeat of the imaginary adjacent enemies, with anyone suggesting that some food might be nice from time to time being sent to a happiness camp until they learn to be nice, just like the beloved leader.