University Challenge final breaks pay-per-view records

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Ahead of Monday’s eagerly anticipated University Challenge final, the BBC has revealed a record number of buys on its new pay-per-view service from fans clamouring to watch the encounter.

The prospect of seeing intense looking know-it-all Eric Monkman of some snobby University face off against smug looking know-it-all Joey Goldman of some snobby university has clearly whetted fans appetites. The BBC stands to earn hundreds of millions of pounds from their titanic tussle.

Senior BBC spokesman Simon Williams said: “With an epic clash of brain versus brain expected, it’s no surprise this has smashed box office records.

“Monkman looking like he’s about to stab Jeremy Paxman for correcting him, Goldman reciting Homer’s Iliad backwards in an attempt to hide the fact he doesn’t know how to undo a bra… it’s unmissable viewing. A real ‘I was there’ moment.

“We were even planning on holding the final at Wembley Stadium. Imagine the show’s voiceover man Roger Tilling bellowing ‘Let’s get ready to rumble’ in front of a capacity crowd!

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“But the contestants didn’t warm to the prospect of being called ‘Poxbridge wankers’ by 90,000 people, so we’ll stay in the studio.

“The amount of money generated dwarf’s any previous pay-per-view sporting event. We might even have a bit leftover to pay Paxman’s salary.”

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