The indiscriminate massacre of Syrian children is perfectly fine if you do it with conventional weapons, President Donald Trump has confirmed.
The US government was responding to the Syrian President’s alleged use of Sarin gas, which is a different weapon to the millions they’ve recently sold across the Middle East.
Trump admitted he was fine with the nightly pictures of dead kids being extracted from rubble, but nobody wants to see them foaming at the mouth.
The US leader said he is prepared to turn a blind eye to the wholesale murder of infants as long as it’s done within the Geneva Convention.
“These babies, little babies with sick all over them when I’m eating my tea – that’s just disgusting. So disgusting. Lots of people are saying it,” he told us.
“This is a huge red line for us.
“We call on President Assad to halt these attacks immediately, or at least water the chemicals down a bit.”
Trump backs the widely held view that deceased toddlers look quite peaceful shrouded in the remnants of a mortar bombed hospital – not when they’re writhing around like maniacs after a dose of nerve agent.
He added, “I wish there was more we could do to help these guys, but Syria is one of the countries on my shit-list.”