Theresa May furious about Easter Eggs while visiting country where blasphemers are beheaded

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Theresa May has spoken of her outrage that the word ‘Easter’ has been removed from posters for an Easter Egg Hunt while taking time out from a busy trip getting chummy with people who behead people found guilty of blasphemy.

While defending ties with Saudi Arabia that she claims are “important for our security and our prosperity”, the prime minister also found time to criticise Cadbury for not using ‘Easter’ as every other word on all their promotional material at this time of year.

She told reporters, “Easter is an incredibly important issue for my government, and will speak out whenever it is threatened – especially if it means you will talk about this and not the other things we are currently doing.

“But beheading people because of what they say in private is not really something for us to comment on, obviously.”

A spokesperson for the government sought to clarify the official position.

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They told us, “It’s a pretty simple equation – if you spend billions of pounds buying weapons from us, then you can chop off as many people’s heads as you feel you need to. More power to your elbow, in fact.

“But, if your business is sold to an American firm and you end up paying us less money through your taxes, then we’ll publicly chastise you over your choice of poster design for any children’s event you choose to organise.

“I think that’s pretty clear, don’t you?”