Government seeks Spanish-speaking trash-talk expert for unspecified role

author avatar by 7 years ago
NewsThump Needs Your Help

An advert for someone who can say ‘Chingar tu Madre’ with conviction has appeared on a British government website over the weekend.

The job, which will be an ‘unspecified but vital’ role within the Brexit negotiation process, calls for a fluent Spanish speaker with a firm grasp of trash talk and put downs.

The successful applicant will be comfortable with frequent overseas travel, high-level negotiation, and saying unforgivable things about the mother of senior government officials.

The interview is expected to be difficult and exacting, with candidates expected to find imaginative ways to compare someone’s sister to a badly-rolled three-day-old tortilla.

“Negotiations with Spain are expected to be challenging and someone who knows their way around the many different uses of the word ‘pendejo’ will be integral to Britain’s future,” said spokesman Simon Williams.

NewsThump Best sellers

“If we’re going to have to get into it with these pinche guys then we need someone who can hold Britain’s end up.

“Sientate en mi cara, jodida puta”, he added.