A Mexican matador has likened Britain’s EU exit to being anally shafted by an aggressive bull.
Prior to the incident, matador Antonio Romero had enjoyed a tense working relationship with the bull that offered mutual benefits.
However, Romero compared the moment his rectum was shattered by a massive horn to the triggering of Article 50.
The hugely traumatic event saw Romero’s arsehole penetrated to a depth of twelve inches, or thirty centimetres in EU jargon.
Señor Romero now faces painful reconstructive surgery on his rusty badge that could cost the Mexican NHS in excess of 350 million pesos a week.
The plucky bullfighter has since likened Theresa May’s negotiating position to having a severely damaged anus.
Romero said, “My arsehole it is like the British economy – under massive pressure from outside and suffering from prolonged inflation.”
He added, “Yesterday I shat myself in Aldi, which is a bit like Scotland leaving the Union.”