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The famous US Presidential motorcade is to be replaced by a clown car that pumps out multi-coloured smoke and has a comedy fart noise for a horn.
The decision was taken after it became apparent that, following accusations that President Obama was in league with the UK secret service to wiretap Trump Tower, no-one on the planet takes President Trump remotely seriously anymore.
“A long line of limousines with darkened windows just started to seem really inappropriate,” said a spokesman for the White House.
“It would be like seeing Elmer Fudd in a racing car; it would just look really jarring and a little scary.
“So, we needed to come up with a mode of transport more befitting our current President’s status both domestically and on the world stage.
“Initially, we thought a sewage truck would be perfect, but it would be a little impractical if the President needed to head into dark back alleys to pass brown paper bags full of money to men called ‘Knuckles’.
“Then we thought about a second-hand Fiat with a cracked windscreen and the bumper all hanging off, or a shopping cart with a wonky wheel, but in the end, a clown car seemed the most appropriate choice.”
The Presidential Clown Car and will remain in use until the wheels come off either the car or the Presidency.
