Nicola Sturgeon to make sure Scotland votes the right way this time by printing fantastic lies on a bus

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After calling for a second referendum on Scottish independence, Nicola Sturgeon has indicated that she will take whatever steps necessary to convince Scottish residents to vote for independence, even if that means printing outright lies on a big bus.

The First Minister of Scotland announced today that she wants another Scottish independence referendum to be held before Brexit is finalised in 2019, and hopes that residents of the northerly country will fall for the classic ‘lies printed on a bus’ trick again, just like half the country did during the EU referendum.

Simon McWilliams, a close aide to the First Minister, told reporters, “As with the first Scottish independence referendum, Nicola Sturgeon is committed to convincing everyone in Scotland that leaving the United Kingdom is the right thing to do.

“The first time around there was about half of Scotland that didn’t see sense, so unfortunately, she may have to resort to extreme measures this time around to win over those last few doubters.”

He continued, “We’re still in the early drafting stage, but already we’ve come up with ‘An independent Scotland will have sunshine every day’, ‘Free whisky for all under an independent Scotland’ and ‘We give loads of money to those southern bastards. Let’s spend it on us instead! Yay!’.

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“And there are probably even better ones that we haven’t thought of yet.

“Obviously the bus won’t be red this time, as that would be a bit too English. Ours will be blue and white, or possibly tartan.”