Daily Express staff left confused after discovering Princess Diana chose to be close friends with a homosexual

author avatar by 7 years ago

Staff at the Daily Express are experiencing deeply conflicting emotions today after learning that Princess Diana’s butler and close friend Paul Burrell has revealed himself to be a homosexual and that shockingly, she may have been aware of this.

“This has made us question everything we thought we knew about Princess Diana,” said senior editor and self-confessed Diana fanatic Simon Williams.

“It’s a real shocker. Obviously she was a loving, caring, empathetic soul, but to know that someone is a secret gay and not look down on them?

“Maybe only someone of her superhuman love, grace and acceptance could have managed such a feat.

“It’s still a big concept for us to get our head around, though.”

He continued “We did question whether to mention Diana at all in today’s newspaper, but as we are bound under a historic blood-oath to mention her at least once a day we decided to run the story about her being his ‘rock’ as he grappled with such a sordid, shameful secret.”

Mr Williams then returned to scientifically forecasting whether Britain will experience an arctic blast or a scorching heatwave over the weekend by giving a cursory glance out of the window.