Thursday 9 March 2017 by Pete Redfern

Daily Express staff left confused after discovering Princess Diana chose to be close friends with a homosexual

Princess Diana friends with homosexual

Staff at the Daily Express are experiencing deeply conflicting emotions today after learning that Princess Diana’s butler and close friend Paul Burrell has revealed himself to be a homosexual and that shockingly, she may have been aware of this.

“This has made us question everything we thought we knew about Princess Diana,” said senior editor and self-confessed Diana fanatic Simon Williams.

“It’s a real shocker. Obviously she was a loving, caring, empathetic soul, but to know that someone is a secret gay and not look down on them?

“Maybe only someone of her superhuman love, grace and acceptance could have managed such a feat.

“It’s still a big concept for us to get our head around, though.”

He continued “We did question whether to mention Diana at all in today’s newspaper, but as we are bound under a historic blood-oath to mention her at least once a day we decided to run the story about her being his ‘rock’ as he grappled with such a sordid, shameful secret.”

Mr Williams then returned to scientifically forecasting whether Britain will experience an arctic blast or a scorching heatwave over the weekend by giving a cursory glance out of the window.

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