Jeremy Corbyn has responded with surprise at learning he’s being paid to lead the opposition to her majesty’s government.
Corbyn, who is paid £40,000 a year for doing the job, didn’t declare the income for tax as it never occurred to him anyone was paying him to do anything.
Corbyn has pledged to declare the income from now on and to find out what he’s supposed to be doing in this ‘opposition thingy’ people are paying him to do.
He is understood to hope it won’t take up too much time as he’s just put a batch of chutney on to simmer and he needs to keep an eye on it as well.
“You’ve got to get your priorities right,” he told senior Labour figures who had come to see what the heck he’s doing.
He went on to tell them that extra forty grand would be very welcome as he wants to plant out some beetroot this year and needs to buy a new garden fork.
“Jeremy sort-of knows he’s leader of the Labour Party but he didn’t realise there were other responsibilities that came with the job,” we were told.
“He thought it was like being a faction leader in Fallout where all the quests are optional but you can spend all your time just crafting stuff in your shed with no pressure if you prefer.
“And, like in Fallout, occasionally someone shows up to say they know of another community in danger from the Tories, but you just mute them and get on with crafting preserves in the workshop.”