Labour accuses pigeons of attempting a soft coo

author avatar by 7 years ago

Senior figures in the Labour Party have accused the pigeons on their windowsill of attempting a soft coo against Jeremy Corbyn.

The pigeons, which are best known for strutting around and crapping everywhere with a mindless self-absorption, have been eyeing up the leader and are feared to be scheming something.

The failure of pigeons to support Corbyn with a perpetual harsh and raucous squawking is being interpreted as ill-will and a failure to pull together.

Senior policy advisor Simon Williams claims he heard a ‘plot’ from the pigeons, although he conceded that the sound may have just been a piece of pigeon poo hitting his windowpane.

However, others within the party say supporters of Corbyn are looking in the wrong place for a challenge to the leadership.

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“There’s a bunch of weak and ineffectual figures already in the party working to bring Jeremy down from the inside”, we were told.

“That’s right, we’ve got a cuck-coup in the nest.”

Pigeons have denied the accusations, saying the claims are ‘Fake Coos’.

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