Anti-establishment campaigner demands knighthood from establishment for efforts to bring down establishment

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Nigel Farage has demanded recognition from the establishment for his years of dedicated service in trying to get people to ignore them.

The former UKIP leader said no-one had done more to bring down the establishment than him, and if the establishment isn’t willing to recognise that with their highest honour, then hundreds of thousands will take to the streets.

He told reporters, “It is essential I am knighted so that ordinary people can see how the establishment can be forced into enacting the will of the people.

“A knighthood for me is a knighthood for everyone who demanded Brexit – but for clarity, I will obviously be the only one able to call himself Sir Nigel.”

Voter Simon Williams was asked about Nigel Farage getting a knighthood, and once he had choked back the vomit, he told us, “There is no doubt whatsoever that Nigel Farage has had a significant influence on life today in Britain.

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“But then so has the Daily Mail, and I don’t want that knighted either.

“He can talk about the will of the people all he likes, but if that actually counted towards Knighthoods, then we’d probably have Sir Britain’s Got Talent.”