Russia accused of hacking Best Picture Oscar

author avatar by 7 years ago

La La Land won the popular vote, supporters have claimed this morning.

Vladimir Putin is accused of undermining the clear favourite for the Best Picture Oscar with underhand intelligence methods used to compromise Warren Beatty.

Russian intelligence is understood to have ‘extensive’ material on Beatty’s sexual past because, let’s face it, who doesn’t.

Putin is understood to have preferred Moonlight for the award because there’s nothing he likes more than watching a couple of black guys getting it together.

Suspicions were aroused by the result after it was noticed La La Land had been playing to packed theatres nationwide and had the support of everyone in Hollywood, whilst Moonlight was only liked by a few people and most of them nobody had ever heard of.

“La La Land was the heir apparent to the Oscar,” intelligence analyst Simon Williams told us.

“It had the financial backing, the slick and classy production values and a carefully-constructed image of being genuine.

“It’s impossible that it could have lost for legitimate reasons, such as it not playing well outside major Metropolitan areas.”

When asked to comment, The Kremlin said that Vladimir Putin hadn’t bothered trying to rig the Oscars since he failed to get Die Hard Best Picture in 1988.