The BBC is to launch a new channel exclusive to Scotland.
Watch It, Ya Bastard will launch in September and will offer a wealth of Scot-specific content.
“Lovely,” beamed Scotsman, Simon Williams.
“Ah’m especially looking forward tae tha’ new sitcom, Aye Up, Twaaat, that looks reet funny, or at least nae more shite than Mrs. Brown’s Boys.”
A BBC spokesperson said, “we’re delighted to offer our Scottish audience a whole channel of bespoke content.”
“Their version of The Daily Politics will be renamed Tha’ Shite From Big Ben and the news will be replaced with Fuckery from Everywhere on God’s Green Earth.”
“We’re also looking to do their own version of Cash In The Attic, which will be called Money Fer Shite Oot the Loft, as well as a version of Strictly Come Dancing which we will name Shiny Bawbags Prancing Aboot.
“We’re hoping that we can lure Lorraine Kelly into presenting absolutely everything, as she’s the only Scottish person we’re not even slightly afraid of.”