You can’t make a shitload of money from privatisation without breaking a few hospitals, confirms Jeremy Hunt

author avatar by 6 years ago

Following the publication of a report by the British Medical Association that has warned that the NHS is at ‘breaking point’, the ever popular Health Secretary has expressed delight that everything is going according to plan.

Jeremy Hunt, who famously wrote a report in 2005 advocating the privatisation of the NHS and the introduction of a US-style insurance system, has admitted that you can’t make yourself and your Tory chums a load of cash without breaking a few NHS hospitals and health Trusts along the way.

“You have to look at the bigger picture,” he told an angry group of Doctors from the BMA.

“Sometimes we have to break parts of the NHS or just let them crumble away to show how the current system is outdated, and to pave the way for a fully privatised NHS.”

He continued, “True, we could direct some of the two hundred billion pounds we will be spending on renewing a weapons system we will never use towards repairing the NHS, but surely the best thing to do is just to sit back and watch it break into pieces.

“Then my chums and I can privatise the whole thing, ramp up insurance costs and then we’ll have made a tidy profit and more importantly the patients will have better healthcare, albeit at the cost to them of thousands of pounds every year in medical insurance.”

Mr Hunt closed by saying, “It’s working out just fine for the United States, so I see no reason why such a system can’t be a similar roaring success in this country.”

It is understood that Mr Cockney Rhyming Slang himself is in the process of setting up a private medical company called ‘Total Hunt Healthcare’ so he can get a juicy slice of the pie after the NHS’ inevitable demise.