NASA’s ‘discovery beyond our solar system’ will reveal location of Chris Waddle’s Italia 90 penalty

author avatar by 7 years ago

After NASA announced a press conference to reveal a ‘discovery beyond our solar system’, sources reported that they may have finally found Chris Waddle’s World Cup semi-final penalty shoot-out miss from Italia ’90.

Although the statement calling the press conference was vague on the details, it is believed that studies focussed on solar systems closest to our own may have located a twenty-six-year-old Adidas Etrusco Unico.

After studying footage of the penalty kick and carrying out calculations based on the ball’s velocity and trajectory, NASA scientists are confident it is the ball from Waddle’s wayward spot kick.

Our source told us, “Never in our wildest dreams to we believe that a mission to explore the universe would result in such a discovery.  We felt sure that this football was lost to science forever.

“This is the first mission ever to recover even the tiniest fragment of a ball from such a ridiculously bad penalty.”

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Although any footage of the ball is likely to be grainy, scientists will seek to learn whatever they can from the piece of sporting memorabilia which has spent nearly thirty years travelling through the void of space.

Our source continued, “This ball has been across our solar system, gone through the Oort cloud, and come to rest billions and billions of miles from Bodo Illgner’s goal.

“We will look closely at the evidence this ball provides, and we are hoping it will answer some of the universe’s greatest questions.”

“Questions such as, will humans be able to visit other solar systems, is there life on other planets, and what the hell was Chris Waddle thinking.”