New think tank created to find more things to blame on foreigners

author avatar by 7 years ago

Following the success of blaming foreigners for problems with the economy and the NHS, a new think tank has been created to blame all sorts of other things on foreigners.

The right-leaning think tank will be made up predominantly of bastards, will be based in North London and will have an innocuous sounding name like ‘Archway,’ or ‘the Heath Group’.

With grim inevitability, Michael Gove will be directly involved.

“Well, it’s tremendously exciting to be back at the forefront of politics,” said the well-known child-faced Tory bastard.

“Blaming foreigners for things has long been a passion of mine and so to be asked to serve in a policy group created entirely for that purpose is tremendously exciting.”

The think tank will have a wide-ranging remit and will be looking to blame foreigners for many things including the weather, traffic congestion, ennui, stubbing one’s toe, the last two Coldplay records, literally nothing on telly on Wednesdays, wasps, the paucity of young tennis players coming through, running out of crisps and Steve Wright in the Afternoon.

“I think it will be a tremendous success, and very quickly people will see an awful lot of new things blamed on foreigners,” continued Mr Gove.

“And if they don’t? Well, we’ll just blame the think tank’s failure on foreigners.

“The shits.”