If you want to be leader of UKIP, turn to page 23, if you want to battle a goblin for ten gold coins, turn to page 144.
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall is to tell of his many adventures in a new autobiography called The Kipper of Firetop Mountain, he has revealed this morning.
Nuttall, who has had more exciting things happen to him than there is time for in one lifetime, plans to recount his selection of histories in a way that allows readers to decide which story he has told is true for themselves.
One path through the book will allow readers to find a magic sword and become a Barbarian hero, like Mr Nuttall did between the ages of 23 and 27.
“The section on Hillsborough will allow people to turn to page 215 if they want to lose a close friend in the tragedy, or turn to page 47 if they want to wake up and have their cornflakes,” editor Simon Williams told us.
“And then readers will be given the option of turning to page 196 if they want to make up a pack of mealy-mouthed self-justification if they want to try and brazen it out when caught, or turn to page 401 if they want to tell the truth.”
Editors have confirmed the book, like other Choose Your Own Adventure books, will have four hundred pages.