Shit gets real as Donald Trump finds ALL CAPS key

author avatar by 7 years ago

An all-caps tweet by the US President has put the world on the brink of a full-scale punctuation war.

Trump escalated from multiple exclamation marks to all caps overnight, leading to other world leaders quaking in terror at the lexicographical might of the USA.

The United Nations security council has convened an emergency session over reports the President is considering underlining words in future tweets.

“We’re very concerned by reports that Twitter has been contracted to develop bold-text technology, which would be a further dangerous escalation,” we were told.

“Fast-breeding tweet technology can lead to weapons-grade tantrums.”

The Tweet was in response to courts rejecting the President’s wish to do something illegal, causing what some are describing as a constitutional crisis.

“James Madison, in his commentary upon the Constitution, wrote ‘Yf th Presidentt do wryte in ALL CAPITALLS then th law of th land shall be subdued,” said Constitutional expert Chuck Williams.

“But it was never formally enshrined, meaning it’s a grey area of law.”

Word from the White House suggests a constitutional amendment is being drafted which would allow laws to be passed if the President writes them in big letters at 2am whilst as high as a fucking kite.