Wikipedia bans Daily Planet as ‘Fake News’

author avatar by 7 years ago

Editors at the online encyclopedia have banned the Daily Planet as a reference, citing ‘sensationalist reporting of a flying blue man’.

Classifying the Metropolis-based paper as ‘generally unreliable’, editors said that reports of the world being under attack by gigantic aliens, a secret war between superpowered adversaries in Metropolis and Gotham, and claims that coffee can both cause and cure cancer were evidence of a culture of ‘poor fact checking, sensationalism and flat-out fabrication’.

The Daily Planet‘s record on climate change reporting was also called into question, as they have published several articles that ever-increasing exposure to our yellow sun can grant superpowers – which the scientific consensus described as ‘a staggering load of bollocks’.

The paper was accused of having a wildly inconsistent position on immigration, adopting a ‘send ’em all back’ line except when migrants can fly and punch Brainiac through the moon.

“If you’re a child from a war-torn area of the middle-east, the Planet opposes your being allowed asylum – but if you’re a child from a war-torn planet forty light years away they’re like ‘Come on in! Have a farm!’,” we were told by senior Wikipedia editor Simon Williams.

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“And they make up all kinds of ‘facts’ to justify that, like people of Middle-Eastern appearance are all members of the League of Assassins and they’re in no danger back home as they can just use a Lazarus Pit to come back to life if they’re killed.”

The Daily Planet has vowed to contest their decision, saying that their stories were totally reliable and owner Mr Luthor wouldn’t rest until the entire world agreed.