White House Press Secretary claims Electoral College gave Super Bowl victory to Atlanta Falcons

author avatar by 7 years ago

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has launched a vociferous tirade against the White House press pool for failing to cover the Atlanta Falcon’s victory in Super Bowl LI.

Spicer told reporters that President Trump feels that Falcons won, and any other assertion should be dismissed as fake news.

He explained, “The Atlanta Falcons are a great team, and got a great result to claim the real victory for Americans everywhere – the victory decided upon by the Electoral College.

“When all the votes were cast the Falcons were the clear winners, showing just what it means to make America great again.”

When pressed by reporters that the scoreboard showed a slightly different result of 38-24 in favour of the New England Patriots, Spicer explained that these were just alternative facts.

He continued, “We believe that once you take away all the illegal points scored by the New England Patriots, the Atlanta Falcons would have scored the popular victory, too.

“There is no scenario in which you can prove I am wrong about any of this. Shut up – no there isn’t.

“Go Falcons!”

I support Trump – in his battle against Tiny Hand Syndrome (get the t-shirt)