“But people voted for me to fuck the French and turn my back on the Germans”, says mystified Nigel Farage

author avatar by 7 years ago

Nigel Farage doesn’t know what all the fuss is about this afternoon, as he’s doing exactly what people voted for.

As news broke that he is living apart from his German wife while shacking up with a French woman thirteen years his junior, Farage said he was acting well within his mandate from the people of Great Britain.

“Sticking it to the French while turning my back on the Germans is the will of the people, and I am well up for some of that action,” said a confused Farage.

“I really don’t see what all the fuss is about. Frankly, you should all be loving it that a Brit is keeping busy by screwing over a couple of Europeans at the same time.”

UKIP fans have welcomed the announcement that Farage has ditched his wife to shack up with another, younger, European woman.

As one explained, “Brilliant! We love our Nigel, out there sticking to the EU, one woman at a time. What a legend.”

However political commentators explained, “Failing to keep promises and vows is the modus operandi of Nigel Farage, so this was entirely predictable.

“In fact, I’d put money on him blaming his marriage breakdown on an EU migrant – probably fitter younger one that he invited over here to live with him.”