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A change in uniform is being introduced to reflect the care and respect for the lives of America’s elite forces shown by the new administration.
The new uniforms are being brought in in the wake of a raid in Yemen that military experts described as ‘a complete FUBAR’.
In Star Trek, a guy in a red shirt gets killed at an appropriate moment to underline to the audience the peril faced by the lead characters, and the new administration confirmed that the folks watching TV at home can expect plenty of that from now on.
“The President designed the new uniforms himself,” we were told.
“Because putting together exciting new uniforms for tough guys is always what well-adjusted adults do when they get into a position of power.
“He says that bright red is the colour of bravery and strength and troops marching into an ill-planned hail of fire dressed this way will be sure to strike terror into the hearts of America’s enemies, including Al-Queda, ISIS, the Klingons and the Narn Regime.
“Then he added ‘Phasers to kill, pew pew pew’ and asked if we’d found any of those green women he asked for, but we’re not sure what he meant by that.”
When asked if the President would be sending any members of his own family into the military, a spokesman for the White House confirmed that although the President’s sons enjoy using guns, they have no intention of trying to use them on anything that might shoot back.
