New Brexit Doctor Who to only travel backwards in time

author avatar by 7 years ago

After Peter Capaldi announced his intention to quit Doctor Who, the BBC have revealed plans to make the character more in fitting with Brexit Britain.

According to reports, the new Doctor will only travel backwards in time, defend men who boast about sexual assault and seek to punish people who are in most need of help.

“Audience surveys indicate that the public want Doctor Who to be a complete shit-gargling piss wizard,” confirmed a BBC spokesperson.

“The new Doctor will be the sort of Time Lord who won’t hesitate to gamble with people’s futures or shy away from running away when it all goes tits up.”

The spokesperson also revealed that as well as the return of old favourites such as white supremacist robot dog KKK9, a host of new monsters are being developed for the show.

“We’re confident that terrifying characters such as Muslimatrons, Immigroids and Women will have viewers diving behind their sofas.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!