The United States has confirmed that the poor, the tired, and the huddled masses yearning to breathe just free aren’t the sort of people they’re looking for anymore.
The demographic group, whose welcome has been engraved on a plaque on the Statue of Liberty for literally dozens of years, is ‘no longer appropriate’ and doesn’t fit with the bold and exciting vision for 21st-century America.
The inscription with be carved off with an angle grinder this coming weekend in a ceremony to be overseen by White House advisor Steven K Bannon in between his scheduled sessions of heavy drinking.
“The huddled masses have been stealing our jobs,” President Trump told reporters.
“While the poor and the tired just laze about on welfare contributing nothing. We’re better off without those people. Such bad people.”
The President has signed several decrees in recent days, including the Poor and Tired Act, which mandates the construction of a huge wall to keep them out, and the Huddled Masses Who Yearn To Breathe Free Act, which is just a sheet of paper with FUCK OFF written on it.
In another change, the letter ‘s’ in the phrase ‘Shining city on the hill’ will be changed to a ‘w’.