The former Prime Minister has been quick to deny that he had any involvement in the creation of the world’s first human-pig embryo.
David Cameron, who is famous for denying taking part in a porcine-based sexual ritual in his student days, has been keen to distance himself from the announcement by scientists that they have made an embryo in a laboratory containing cells belonging to both the human and pig species.
Addressing reporters outside his house this morning, the alleged dead pig penetrator said, “I know this will be a surprise to everyone, but I had genuinely nothing to do with this.
“Those days of Bullingdon Club penis japes are well behind me. Not that anything happened, of course.”
Fuelling speculation that he may have been spending longer than normal thinking about the intricacies of how a human-pig embryo could have been created, he added “And let us not forget, you can’t make a human-pig embryo by putting your member in a dead pig’s mouth.
“That requires vaginal penetration of a live pig, and I didn’t want to join that club. I think Boris would have blackballed me anyway.”
Scientists involved in the research are yet to respond to press questions regarding who may have provided the human cells for the experiment, or speculation that it would have been blond.