Sunday 22 January 2017 by Gary Stanton

Misfiring Trident an effective deterrent against anyone wanting to buy it

Trident misfire

The all-new malfunctioning Trident missile system should effectively deter aggressive regimes from wanting to purchase it.

A recently published report claims the nuclear missile, which was fired in June, veered immediately off course and hasn’t been heard from since.

Despite its abject failure, Theresa May says she has “absolute faith” in the system, which cost £31 billion, and displays all the accuracy of a contestant on Bullseye.

The missile’s disappearance has prompted a spate of witty and original chat-up lines such as: “Is that a wayward Trident missile in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

Defence analyst, Simon Williams, said, “The failed test raises serious questions like why Theresa May forget to mention it to the Commons on the eve of a crucial vote.

“Britain’s nuclear incapability must be viewed in the context of having no mates in Europe and a dangerous arsehole running the United States.”

The missile joins a list of things that have recently disappeared in mysterious circumstances such as the lack of a credible opposition, the White House website on Climate Change and the extra £350 million a week for the NHS.

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