Remainers who have given up Remaining are the worst, say smokers

author avatar by 8 years ago

Former Remainers definitely make the worst Brexiters, according to a study of smokers.

The study was based on a single example of someone ‘switching sides’, with the person known only as ‘Mrs T May’ for the purposes of the research.

The researchers found that being a former Remain voter changing their mind leads to someone becoming the most tyrannical and despotic of Leave supporters.

Alt-right Leave voter and smoker Simon Williams, said, “I looked at the study of this T May woman and what she has been proposing and thought ‘Erm, hang on a minute, love. That’s a bit strong, isn’t it?

“I used to think that smokers who had given up smoking were the absolute worst; constantly going on at you for still smoking, telling you how your lungs are going to collapse, heart disease is going to get you or you’re going to spectacularly ignite a gas leak at home.

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“But this? This is much worse. Apparently, this woman voted Remain; she even campaigned for Remain, but now she’s all ‘Brexit means Brexit’ and threatening to sever ties completely with EU and be damned with the consequences.

“It’s almost like because she knows that everyone knows she was a Remainer, she’s trying extra hard to convince everyone she’s now a Brexiter.

“I mean – don’t get me wrong, I’m Brexit all the way, mainly cos of what the bus said – but she’s bonkers to the point of me thinking ‘Well, is the EU that bad?”

At that point, Mr Williams was interrupted by his phone, into which he muttered, “Well, yes. Of course. Yes, Ma’am. Absolutely! I know you are. Definitely. Yes. I’m very sorry!”

Upon hanging up, he said, “We’re coming out and apparently it’s all going to be FINE.”

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