Big fuck off alligator heading for Trump inauguration

author avatar by 8 years ago

A big fuck off alligator with a taste for thin-skinned Republicans is making its way to Washington for Donald Trump’s inauguration.

Alligator, Simon Williams, purchased a one-way bus ticket from Florida to Washington, telling the driver to ‘make it snappy’.

The twelve-metre long leathery killing machine has booked a front row seat and hopes to grab a bite to eat before the swearing-in.

President-elect Donald Trump said, “I like alligators, I think they’re great. We have the best alligators folks. Seriously.

“What could possibly go wrong?”

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Everglades resident, Williams, had originally hoped to be seated next to Nancy Reagan, but now expects to be lumped next to Sarah Palin.

Williams said, “For the record: I really like neo-Nazis, I just couldn’t eat a whole one.”

He added, “I’m told this guy wants to drain the swamp. We’ll see about that.”

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