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So-called ‘plumber’ Super Mario has today been dropped by the Check-a-trade business directory after thousands of complaints by customers that they are still waiting for their plumbing work to be done.
It is believed that despite listing his services in the ‘Plumbing and Heating’ category over thirty years ago, Super Mario has yet to complete a single plumbing job, or receive a single review.
Following the announcement yesterday of the release of his new venture Super Mario Odyssey, industry experts believe that the chances of the Italian plumber having time to secure and complete any plumbing contracts are next to none.
Check-a-trade executive Simon Williams announced, “We like to give everyone who advertises their business with us a fair chance. But after thirty-six years of being in our directory without any work to show for it, and thousands of customers still waiting for him to show up and do the work requested, we have decided that enough is enough.
“If we were ever to create a business category called ‘Running around eating mushrooms, grabbing coins and saving damsels in distress’ then he would be welcome to contact us and we would happily list his services.”
Disgruntled customer Eleanor Gay told reporters “Back in the mid-1990s I booked Mario for a complete boiler replacement, on the understanding that he would live up to his ‘Super’ title, and I’m still waiting for the work to be done.
“The whole situation is most disappointing. If he keeps me waiting much longer I might just have to give his brother Luigi a try instead.”
Customers waiting for work to be done have been further angered by reported sightings of Super Mario spending a lot of time playing a variety of sports including golf and racing go-karts, which many have described as blatant proof that the little Italian plumber has no intention of doing a proper day’s plumbing in his life.
