by 
Loft conversion salesman Simon Williams is deeply disappointed by the response he got from local Landowner Edward Rochester today.
Rochester, 44, owns a large house in Derbyshire with a large and evidently unused loft space which could easily be converted into a family day room with great views across the valley, leading Simon to call on him at seven of the clock precisely last night – which he had been told by servants would be the best possible time.
Acting as salesman for NewloftsforU of Millcote, Williams had taken it upon himself to research his potential client and discovered him to be a married man with a large house, but no planning permission had ever been applied for to make the fourth floor of the house useable – meaning it appeared a great sales opportunity.
“I got as far as suggesting that the conversion would open out the unused loft and make a wonderful, airy, space for him and his wife to spend a summer afternoon when he threatened to take his riding crop to me”, Williams told us over a half pint of laudanum at the Black Bull.
And then I said perhaps we could discuss it with the lady of the house, which didn’t seem to help matters at all.”
“All I did was say that with a big, south-facing window it’d be like the West Indies in there on a sunny day and that was when he really lost it.”
Despite the disappointment, Williams vowed to persevere with the potential client, observing that although a sale had been denied him he has to right to keep trying, cost what it may.
