Barack Obama demands Donald Trump release which brand of toilet paper he uses

author avatar by 6 years ago

Donald Trump is facing calls to confirm he uses Soft And Gentle after allegations he has alternative lavatory practices emerged overnight.

Obama said the Trump could ‘kill the controversy’ by answering a simple question about a piece of paper and what it has on it.

Suggestions have been published that Trump does not use an American-made tissue, and instead prefers an unusual, foreign alternative.

“A lot of people are saying that Trump doesn’t even have any paper in his bathroom,” Obama told reporters with a perfectly straight face.

“I’m not saying it, I’m just asking the question.

“If he just releases the paper, then the question is answered. I don’t understand why he’s making a big secret out of it.

“Why won’t he show his lavatory paper? Is there something on it he doesn’t like? Is there something on it that’s very bad for him?”

The scandal, already being called Yellowwatergate, threatens to derail Trump’s inauguration next week which he has already promised will feature ‘showers of gold on the American people’.