Man who corrects factual errors in Internet jokes still inexplicably single

author avatar by 7 years ago
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A man who uses the comments threads of Internet jokes to correct factual errors still hopes one day to know the touch of a woman, according to people who know him.

Friends of Simon Williams, 41, find it incredible that a man with his pedantic command of trivia and obsessive need to correct people he’s never met and never will, has thus far have failed to find a life partner.

Facebook was described as a ‘Godsend’ for Williams, whose friends used it to chat up women they were at school with and never had the nerve to try with at the time – while he uses it to post comments beginning “Actually, I think you’ll find…” in the bottom half of the Internet.

“Look, I know these stories are made up. It even says they’re not real at the top of the page,” he told us.

“But I don’t think that’s a good reason not to take a few minutes out of my day to point out some glaring inaccuracies in the writing. Just because something is made up, doesn’t mean it should be allowed to be wrong, and to go unchallenged.

“I’m often told by women that they find that sort of behaviour sexually exciting at a deep, primal level, and then I get off with them, sometimes two or three at a time. They love it.

“Tits, fanny, the lot,” he added for clarification.

However, his claims of girls fancying him have been roundly debunked by and filed under ‘fake news’.