A Muslim man who claims not to have taken offence at Christmas celebrations has been labelled an ISIS sleeper agent by a UKIP supporter.
Sumit Hussain, a computer programmer from Chelmsford, mentioned to a colleague that he’d had a nice Christmas, enjoyed a roast Turkey with his family and thought this year’s Doctor Who Christmas special was ‘pretty good.’
“That’s what tipped me off,” said UKIP supporter, Daily Express reader, and women’s bicycle seat aficionado Simon Williams.
“I mean, Christmas Doctor Whos are always rubbish because they rarely add anything meaningful to Whovian lore.”
He went on to make his case against Mr Hussain.
“I’ve got nothing against the Muslims,” he began, unconvincingly.
“But it’s well known that if you so much as eat a mince pie in front of one of them, then they get all that Muslim rage in their face and issue a Fatima against you for celebrating Christmas while they watched.
“They can’t help it, it’s in their nature – they have to get angry or they go to Hell. Or wherever Muslims go that is rubbish.
“So, the only explanation for this bloke not being incredibly offended by all the Christmas stuff going on is that he must have been trained by his ISIS masters to blend in as some sort of sleeper agent.
“I’ve reported him to MI5 but, you know, I’m not looking for any sort of recognition or medals or anything.
“Well, maybe just a quiet ceremony.”
MI5 have stated that they will ‘probably not’ be investigating Mr Hussain.