Quality Street to be renamed Quantity Street

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Nestle is to respond to the demands of their average customer by changing the name of Quality Street to Quantity Street.

The confectionery giant has admitted that ‘Quality’ isn’t top of the list of priorities for buying the popular sweets, which is probably good all things considered.

Market research shows that Quantity is ranked first in order of importance by customers, followed by ease of access, attractive packaging, and type 2 diabetes.

Portion sizing in the kilo range was also considered a high priority.

“We first realised that perhaps our marketing strategy was misplaced when we noticed that the majority of our customers were wide enough to fill a supermarket aisle on their own and had a trolley full of catering-sized bags of Quavers,” said Nestle spokesman Simon Williams.

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“We had thought that by putting the word ‘Quality’ on the packaging we’d attract a clientele who shop at John Lewis, drive a Lexus and might be tempted away from their usual brands like Godiva, Richart and Valrhona.

“Hoo-eee, boy, did we misjudge that. Still, better late than never.”

As well as the name change, manufacturers say they will also make the sweets more desirable and better value for money by making the tin smaller.